the far-reaching river of life

it's not even been a week since i've come back from thailand. and life just keeps ticking along as if all that i've seen and experienced happened in some far off dream, but it was just a week ago that i was sitting in different refugee camps and praying that i would be a source of encouragement and friendship to the beautiful men, women and children we met a long the way. my deepest fear in coming home is that i would be swept up and under this current of life in the states-- that i would get overwhelmed in the everyday tasks of my life in seattle and would forget the sweetness, the stillness of God's spirit both in and with the refugees, internally displaced people and externally displaced people in burma and thailand. and it would be easy and an enticing temptation to slowly forget-- to get back to life and leave that part of my life as some bad dream in the past. but i vowed to god and myself upon all that i had seen that i would not forget and i could not forget, because in seeing and partaking in this bitter and sweet part of the journey this required much responibility on my part to act on behalf of my brothers and sisters... to speak, to remember, to pray and to share the story... this was not some humanitarian stop off, but god requires more in all he allows us to participate in. we can choose apathy, but i pray that god would press us onward and that we would answer in obedience to follow him-- even when we don't know where he is leading us.

so here i am first day back to work and my mind keeps wandering back to two weeks ago. i'm using my blogs to not only help me remember and document the journey, but also to share these stories with you, as there are so many to tell.

the trip was a whirlwind of activity. the first two days we met with about 10 NGO's, missionaries and other church ministries from there we traveled about 7 days down the thai/burma border. rich, our fearless team leader, set up our contacts along the thai/burma border. our first visit was to cross the border into burma and visit a refugee camp called Lah Ber Hur. lah ber hur has been there for about 4 years and in that time has been burnt down twice. there were 700 people who lived there at the time of our visit and the conditions are very unstable. there is no telling how long the internally displaced people (IDP's) will be able to stay there... they live on a very thin thread of security and are constantly aware of the reality that at any moment the SPDC could come and burn down their camp. Yet, they remain faithful and dedicated to their first and foremost mission to provide education for the future of their children. they were so gracious to us, as they allowed us to stop off and see the children in school. they invited us to sing, share stories and teach. definately the highlight of our trip!! the children sang us a song that translated in english said, 'you on my right you are lovely. you on my left you are lovely. if you love your neighbor you are lovely.' i still have the tune jangling around in my head. they took us around the village and allowed us to visit the medical clinic. we walked around and if you looked closely on the wall there were different educational posters for the villagers. the most disturbing of all was posters to educate parents on the various types of landmines to teach their children about... there were a variety and the children were shown with big, bold x's what could be deadly if touched. amidst all of this, people were smiling and greeting us and allowing us to be a part of the world-- if only for a day. and it felt so wrong. as a mother, i thought of my daughter and the priveledge i have in the states to provide all the security and safety i can afford. i don't have to worry or fear of military weapons geared to harm children or unsuspecting victims in addition to all the 'regular' things you try to do to ensure the safety of your children. i don't have to worry that sometime in the night someone might come burn down my home and my family would be displaced and on the run for our lives in the jungle. i don't have to be afraid of what future i can secure for my child... in fact, i can bank on the fact that she will have opportunities for a bright future in education, employment and to live out her dreams. i don't have to worry that somewhere in the night she will be stolen and sold either for slave or sex labor. all these things are a world a way from you and i. yet, this is what the karen people face everyday. it is not what you will see on their faces or in their attitudes. instead what sticks out in my mind is their singing. every morning from 5 am to late in the night (around 10 pm) there was singing of worship althrough out the camp. can we sing even in the hardships and trials of life? will we sing? there is much to be learned...