Wednesday, April 07, 2004

I haven't posted in forever. On March 3, 2004 I had a baby girl. Her name is Isabelle Rose Pederson-Spaulding. She weighed 7lbs 4ounces and she was 19 inches long. She is amazing. For the past few weeks I've been staying home with her. It was a great time of getting to know each other. However, the time and the relationship brought up insecurities in me I didn't know existed. Adding this role in my life: a central part of my identity has given me so many things to think about. Our world has been flipped upside down trying to figure out feeding schedules, sleeping schedules and baby development. And between the hormone flips and sleep deprivation things can look a bit fuzzy. But most of all, having Isabelle has reminded me of my great need for God. I know that we can't parent her alone. We need God's grace and compassion to lead us into giving Isabelle the security and love that she will need to develop into the person He has created her to be.

Already Isabelle has changed the way I look at myself and the world around me. The things I used to worry myself about just don't seem that important. I love being a mama. Before Isabelle I wasn't interested in becoming a parent, but now I can't imagine going back. This is the most important thing i've ever done. I am so blessed to be a part of this family.

Our extended church family have been an amazing support to us during this time. I thank God for showing his face to us time and time again through the community we have at Quest. Their prayers, meals, relationships, advice and encouragements have been such an important part of our growth as parents to Isabelle. We gained so much in family when we became a part of Quest.