Loving people.

Loving our neighbors is the second commandment in the Bible. Love God. Love people. It seems easy, but this phrase has new meaning and difficulty once applied to your family. Everyone has extended family that they struggle to understand, to connect with to relate to, etc. Today I went to a family event for a cousin who recently got married. I went with cynicism, sarcasm, skepticism... and any other ism you can throw in there. I wasn't so skeptical of the event... I was reticent to engage the people... my family. Through out the years these people have been some of the hardest people for me to love, to extend grace and compassion to and to understand. I spend a lot of energy finding ways that I can avoid attending family events. So today I went with my little chip not expecting to get much out of my interactions... and again I was surprised (and kicked in the butt).

The truth remains, I don't have much in common with these people. Generally they don't get me and I don't get them. They don't know my interests, my passions or the things I care about. Our political and societal views are vastly different. We speak different languages. And for the most part, those things don't look like they will change. But today I was able to see something I hadn't noticed before... that these people, my family by blood fundamentally were all seeking the same thing... meaning, purpose, care... How could I begrudge such a need? A need I so desperately seek to fill in my life.

And there I found myself at a crossroads... Could I give out of the compassion of knowing what it looks like to desire a void filled? or Would I walk away from yet another disappointing afternoon with family? Could I take a minute to step off my platform of judgment and irritation to look deeper, to look harder into the emptiness of these people? How pious i've become. I preach justice, compassion and advocacy when I would be the last to step in the gap for these men and women. That is a very sad truth.

Today I was surprised and convicted, because when I least expect it God blesses me through the very people I don't desire anything from. When I least expect it I see beauty, mystery and kindness in the eyes of my family. I think i've got it all figured out. All tucked away in my very sophisticated intellect. Just when I think I've learned all there is to learn i'm struck with a new lesson that God can reveal himself where we least expect to see him. This lesson that God makes his home in the hearts of our broken beings is a miracle. Why should I be surprised when I look in the direction of my aunt, uncle or cousin and see this revelation? Shouldn't I always be waiting in anticipation of how God might reveal himself? Not just for my benefit, but so that I can love deeper... so that I can love greater those I have chosen to disengage. I feel foolish today for being so selfish and unwilling to look beyond myself. Thank you God for revealing yourself. I pray that you continue to transform my heart. Amen.