Monday, September 29, 2003

A new day.

I've been wrestling with a few different items these past few weeks: sacrifice and submission.

A few weeks ago, I met with a friend over hamburgers. We meet regularly to talk poetry. Our conversations always evolve into life matters and this particular day we began to discuss sacrifice. He was stating that he did not particularly jive with Heideggar's definition of sacrifice. Being that I never read this definition I asked him what in particular he didn't like about it and how he would define sacrifice. He continued by saying that he didn't believe that sacrifice was the giving of something to someone (whether it be a god or a person) but that sacrifice was an act that should only free oneself. I struggled with that definition as I started to think of sacrifice in terms of Christ and God. I almost don't see the point of 'sacrifice' if it doesn't have a recepient. For instance, in my marriage I come to a crossroads daily to sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifices are small and sometimes they are big. I remember the time Frank went to the Navy and how painful that was to be seperated from each other, but I feel that it was a sacrifice we both made in order to benefit our family. Likewise, I think of Christ's sacrifice on the cross what would be the point of this gift if it was only to free himself. I see this clearly as an act towards 'us' the reciepients of his grace, mercy and compassion. I admit that I need this gift daily. For it is not in my own strength that I can overcome my weaknesses, my selfishness, my pride. And without his gift/ his sacrifice I would not be able to in turn give. I could not serve others. I could not work with the homeless. I could not feel compassion. And even with his grace, I still fail. But it gives me hope to live, to get up and try again, to struggle well and to rest.