Reconciling with God

This past Sunday Eugene preached on forgiveness and reconciliation. Not an easy topic to swallow, as I think it resonates with every human soul: we have all been trespassers and we have all been trespassed against. And the residue that remains after being hurt or hurting can be a challenge to reconcile.

It's truly a miracle when people's relationships are restored, because both hearts have to be willing at the same time to be healed and brought back together. I've always admired my father's hopefulness, because he believes any couple or any two people should be able to reconcile if they are both willing. And I think that is true. The problem is that a lot of times both people are not willing at the same time.

Growing up I was trained to believe that forgiveness and reconciliation is about forgetting the trespasses and moving on as if nothing took place to require the reconciliatory act. And now after much thought and reflection I think that reconciliation is not so much about forgetting, or mending a relationship or maintaining dialogue with another person, but it is about the peace that can come from forgiving someones' trespasses, forgiving your own trespasses and receivng the forgiveness of God. The reality is that even when you've been forgiven or when you forgive it doesn't mean that a relationship will continue.

This year has been a year coming to a crossroads of forgiveness in my heart. And although I felt for so long that I couldn't forgive because I wanted justice-- I realized that the justice I wanted was really retribution which is rather unjust. And if I could forgive I could be led into the beautiful journey of grieving an amazing friend and sister. We prepare ourselves for a loss in death or relocation, but when a loss is accompanied by hurtful trespasses we forget the beautiful gifts that were once shared-- those gifts were shared for a purpose even if only for a time.