Nickelsville and the barriers of homelessness...

So I've been following the Nickelsville situation for a few weeks now, as they've been getting more attention and press here in Seattle. It seems that the Nickelsville community which has just been relocated to Discovery Park from South Seattle will be having to move again... to get more info on the situation you can read here.

As an advocate for the homeless, I find myself very frustrated not only with circumstances of Nickelsville, but about the responses I have been reading from the larger community. In generally, things I've read from people's comments regarding the situation have been apathetic, unsupportive and down right negative towards the homeless community. It really doesn't surprise me I hear many of these comments from folks when they learn I work with the homeless. Yet, it still frustrates me to hear how little compassion people have towards the homeless and the barriers that so many of them face in leaving homelessness permanently.

Homelessness is a complicated, multifaceted problem. More often then not, I hear people wanting to pin the sole responsibility on the homeless individual. Having advocated for the homeless for eight years I would agree that each individual has to look at themselves, take an inventory and ownership over their own lives and the decisions they make, as well as take responsibility for choices that have sometimes put them in very compromising positions. However, I do not believe that is where we should stop when grappling with the issues of homelessness. I believe that organizations, churches and government funding should help provide more opportunities to journeying along side the homeless-- even when the results don't turn out as we expect them to. And I believe that as individuals of this society we have the responsibility to hold up our brothers and sisters in need.

You see the thing is-- when we are talking about the homeless we are not just talking about one situation or scenario. When we talk about the homeless we are talking about a multitude of stories, histories and issues that one must face if they have the misfortune of becoming homeless. We cannot generalize people and say, 'Well if the homeless would just get a job that would solve the problem or if the homeless would stop drinking then they would no longer be in the situation that they are in'. we shouldn't do this with any people group and we cannot do this with the homeless population. In my work with men and women who suffer from chronic mental illness or alcohol abuse what I've found is that there is a history of abuse and abandonment and it is a tough situation to just tell someone to get over it and just get on with it. The coalition for the homeless in Seattle sites that, "Fifty to sixty percent of the women and children who are homeless are victims of domestic abuse. There are also homeless men, including fathers with children, who are fleeing abuse". In understanding this element of homelessness we should feel the call to rally and unite around the need to help build and sustain and dream about the possibility of something outside of homelessness for each person. Just because it is complicated and difficult does not mean that it is time to disengage or grow apathetic to the need.

In the King 5 news coverage on the homeless, people commented to the article with statements that there were enough beds and that the homeless community's reluctance to go to shelter because of violence or exploitation was silly and unfounded. Well in January 2008, operation night watch conducted their annual homeless one night count and found that there were 8,439 homeless people in King County-- a 15% increase from last year of that, 5,808 beds were utilized, as well as 140 mats which were made available due to severe weather. 139 beds were made added in transitional housing programs for families with children. However, 173 units of transitional housing was removed from the 2008 inventory. In addition, there was essentially no change in the number of year-round emergency shelter beds available in 2008. So although the homeless count has increased by 15% the beds available to accommodate this increase is not there.

Several people wonder, 'Why don't the homeless just get a job'? As stated earlier, I do believe that the homeless have to be proactive in their quest to get back on their feet but sometimes it not as simple as just asking the above question. In fact statistics show that 44% of the homeless worked in the past month but did not make enough to afford housing-- the fact is there is not enough affordable housing available for low-income individuals and families which puts this population at grave risk. In Seattle, a minimum wage worker has to work more than 3 full-time jobs, or work 126 hours to afford fair market rent for a two bedroom apartment. In our economic climate we can not expect that this problem will be remedied any time soon. The National Coalition for the Homeless states, "Two trends are largely responsible for the rise in homelessness over the last 20-25 years: a growing shortage of affordable rental housing and a simultaneous increase in poverty".

The reality is that the visible homeless community is just a small window into the complexity and full spectrum of this population. What I mean by the visible homeless is those that you regularly see or would recognize as homeless just by observing them from an outside perspective. The fact of the matter is that most of the homeless community remain invisible to us. That man or woman we see on the street corner or the panhandler only make up about 8% of the total homeless population. Under the HUD (Housing and Urban Development) definition of homelessness a person is considered homeless if they are in one of the following situations:

-Places not meant for human habitation
-Emergency shelter
-Transitional housing
-In any of the above places but is spending a short time in a hospital or other institution
-Being evicted from a private dwelling
-Being discharged within a week from a institution.
-Is fleeing a domestic violence housing situation.

We generally attribute homelessness with a particular image. Here is a picture of who is homeless:

-Children under the age of 18 accounted for 39% of the homeless population, 42% of those children were under the age of five (National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty 2004).
-Men comprise of 51% of the homeless population and single women comprise of 17% (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2005).
-The number of homeless families with children has increased significantly over the past decade. Families with children are among the fastest growing segments of the homeless population. The U.S. Conference of Mayors found that families with children comprised of 33% of the homeless population.
-Battered women who live in poverty are faced to choose between abusive relationships and homelessness. 50% of all women and children experiencing homelessness are fleeing domestic violence (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2001).
-Research indicates that 50% of homeless men have served in the armed forces.
-Approximately 16% of the single adult homeless population suffers from some form of severe and persistent mental illness (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2005).
-The U.S. Conference of Mayors number in 2005 was 30%, for current addiction disorders among all single adults who are homeless.

The implication of these statistics make it clear that we cannot use one generalized description in identifying the homeless. However, the homeless do have some certain shared basic needs including: affordable housing, adequate incomes and health care. Based on this descriptors we see that the homeless share in the need of dignified care and resources just as we all do. This should align our stories with the homeless not create barriers that relegate us to a dichotomy of us vs. them.

Unfortunately, there are no easy solutions to the problem of homelessness. Some have commented to the King 5 article with cynicism, blaming organizations like Tent City and Share Wheel for perpetuating the cycle of homelessness. I don't believe there is any one model or solution to the problem. I do support the mission of Tent City and Share Wheel because I believe in their advocacy and their consistent support of the homeless. They have been on the front lines in several situations advocating and providing support to the homeless community. I can't say I know all of the intricacies of their services, but I respect that they value the homeless and they value the voice of the homeless-- allowing men, women and children in the community to share their stories, their experiences and their frustrations with the barriers that they must face. One of those barriers happens to be us-- the larger society and culture. It is rare to find people who genuinely and with conviction find the homeless a value to our society. We dismiss them with a glance. And the ones we don't see-- well we find our alliances on other issues rather then learning and educating ourselves on why this is a problem and how we can use our gifts to be a source of hope. It is possible to leave homelessness permanently-- I've seen it time and again but that process can span over weeks, months and into years and it is easy to lose hope and faith that their is an alternative. Perhaps part of that dream for an alternative can be our faces (those of us who live in privilege)-- perhaps we could be that face of hope, that beacon of light, that voice that says, "you matter". But it has to start somewhere-- that somewhere is you and me.

the chronicles of the belly: my belly-- a conversation piece.

it is a strange and funny phenomenon but when you are pregnant and get to a certain stage in your pregnancy (namely the stage where you are very much showing) every one comes out of the wood works with advice and theories and the insatiable need to touch you. everyone predicts the gender of the baby dependent on how you are carrying the babe, whether or not you are experiencing morning sickness, how much heartburn you have, if the baby appears to be high or low and so on and so on and so on. people are so sure at just one glance that they know exactly what you are having and when it is due. today i was shopping around at target and i was in the check out line when the cashier was like, 'you're having a boy aren't you'? with which i replied by saying, 'nope, little girl'. she then responded with, 'oh you're carrying her so high'. yet, i've heard from countless others that you can tell for sure that you are having a girl when you are carrying the baby high and that if you're carrying low then it has to be a boy. in the past two weeks these are the many words i've received:

"You are carrying the baby so high. Doesn't look like the baby will be early".
"Oh my gosh, you're baby has dropped-- you're carrying the baby so low. Looks like any day now".
"Oh my goodness, you are so small it's just like a small basketball that you are carrying around".
"Oh my gosh, you're getting fat".
"You're experiencing a lot of heartburn? That means you're having a baby with lots of hair".
"You must be having a boy because you're carrying so high".
"You must be having a girl because you're carrying so high".

in addition to the various comments i receive, i have had more people rub my tummy and ask to touch me. i think it is fair to say that this will be the only time in my life where i will have the experience of witnessing people's excitement about touching my stomach. it is hilarious how people want to touch you all the time when you are pregnant. i don't mind it much. i find it to be interesting, but the funny thing about it is that it doesn't matter if you know the person or if the person is a complete stranger chances are they are not going to be able to keep themselves from placing their hands on your belly. they touch it and they ewe and awe over it and it somehow makes them feel connected to this miracle inside you. they get all giddy and happy after touching your stomach, as if it is some good luck charm.

all this to say, my belly has been getting a lot of attention these days and it's a bit strange and surreal.

a blessing shower!

so... on saturday, september 13th our dearest friends and family hosted a blessing shower for frank, is and i. i can not even begin to articulate the love and care and support i felt that day from each person. each person left us with words of blessing and care which have been compiled into a beautiful book. i realized through the grace and generosity of my friends and family the rich and beautiful significance of having a community, a village to gather around and support one another. i will never forget that day and i am eternally thankful for each person's participation and love for my family.

*** (as baby draws near i've been feeling more and more nostalgic... here is a poem i wrote about a memory i have of friendship in san francisco...)

it

it's as old as the vintage shoes you once wore.
Then the yellow dresses with red and orange peonies splashed across visions
and brick laden sidewalks with walkers and the smell of stale cigarettes.
Squinted eyes in furry-- strained-- then waned.

and glints of white spots with blindness made memory forget.

Purple stained teeth sprinkled with the smell of fresh sangria-- then real with
lemons floating far beneath.
Stained and yet worried.
Would it flood or fade?
Picture screens and justice scattered along the bay.
For what you can't see you can't erase.
Subconscious love-- then grief-- and a window scene.
Sabotage-- the unwelcomed imaginings.

For once imagined-- cheap.

It came to me the feather, lilies and sweets. You're red and freckled.

Nostalgic happenings overwhelm and escape.

One step.

And stunned.

ready, set, go-- first day of school!

isabelle started her first day of school yesterday. it is her 2nd pre-k year at fairview christian. she was sad to learn that her teacher from last year would not be teaching her again this year... so at first she was a little reticent of joining the new class and the new teacher, but once her teacher shared with her that they had new princess gowns she was sold. it also helped that she had a handful of friends from last year joining her again this year. she was super excited about seeing her friend lily and her beloved luke.

i can't really believe that she is four and half years old! she has already big plans for when she turns five which include: driving and going to the bathroom without an adult. she's an ambitious girl! i'm looking forward to watching her grow and learn many more things this year and i am delighted to see the curiosity and wonder in her eyes when she explores and conquers a new feat!

restricted mobilization...

now that i'm in my 36th week of pregnancy 'getting comfortable' takes on a whole new meaning. my new best friends happen to be pictured above. yes, i have an intimate relationship with both tums and maalox and you can find me all throughout the day either popping tums or swigging maalox to remedy the god-awful heartburn and acid reflux i experience all day, everyday. i've taken to sleeping on the couch in an upright position to try to fight off the gross feeling. in addition, breathing has become more labored, as all of my organs have gotten squished inside the more this baby girl gets bigger. oh and the contractions have started and are sometimes more intense then other times. these are just a few of the inconveniences of pregnancy at this point. although, it is getting harder and harder to get around and find comfort i am still filled with great hope and anticipation at meeting our new little girl.

we've picked out a lovely name for her and i will not disclose that information on my public blog until she is born, but it is so fun to have something picked out and to be able to refer to her by name. i imagine in my mind what she must look like. i wonder how her and her big sister will bond. i can't wait to see her with her dad. so much to look forward to... very, very soon she will be here.

date nights= good

so after 13 years of marriage, one kid and another one on the way it is really easy for us to not make our personal connection with one another much of a priority on the to-do list of life. generally, we try to squeeze in some time here or there to spend some quality time together but if things get hectic or chaotic it generally is the first thing to go. and i'll be honest it doesn't feel good to have the inconsistency in our relationship. in fact, i've realized more and more how much i long for intimate moments to learn more about frank and expose more of my inner thoughts with him-- to get a way together and be able to sneak back into the shadow of secret only he and i will ever know.

so... this last sunday night we got to do just that! i had an extremely long day at church. yet, i wanted to make the most of it even though i was riddled with exhaustion. frank had driven to eastern washington that day to help my parents with some yard work and so he, too, was on the sleepy side but didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to get a way with me. so we got all dressed up in our very best and trekked out to a little restaurant called: tamirind tree in the ID.

now after 13 years of marriage and all you'd think it would be easy to just naturally connect but i recognize that there is always just a bit of awkwardness. after all, we're used to having a four year old ask us a ton of questions and run circles around us constantly-- so to have some quiet space to ourselves is such a foreign concept that to have anything but some awkwardness would not be a completely authentic space. so at first, we kinda looked around, chatted briefly here and there, looked at the ceiling, gazed at our menus, and averted our attentions to other people around us and so on... we didn't fall into it easily, but then it happened we got each other! we finally hit a stride and talked about everything from relationships to politics and then more politics and even some of our very own dreams for ourselves and our brood. it was wonderful. it was wonderful to be surprised and taken off guard in such a real and distinct moment and i think that somewhere in there we found a deeper love and respect for one another.

someone the other day told me that their mom had said that over the course of the years of marriage with her father that there were times that intertwined with each other where they were constantly falling in and out of love with one another. and whenever they'd fall out of love she'd take a deep breath, wait and some how in some mysterious and miraculous way she'd find the love she had for him and fall back in love. i resonated fully with that picture, as that mirrors much of our (mine & franks) experience and i believe much of the marriage experience in general. the issue isn't if you can keep a relationship that is seamless-- without conflict or strife, struggle or complete confusion. the thing is can you have faith in the middle of the unknown and trust that without even having any practical answers, strength or understanding that you can find yourselves right there back in love-- more deeply committed and overflowing with grace and respect then ever imaginable-- for that moment of time in the relationship-- IF you can hold on to some inkling of faith in the desert-- in the valley-- in the lonely space which encompasses much of the marriage experience. yes, the winds of change and swaying in & out will come but can we have the courage to see each stage, each moment through so when the birth of redemption experience comes we can see it & let it transform us at it's fullest?