Our sexuality in question...

As a therapist and as a pastor who helps teach the premarital class at Quest I am reminded time and again through observation and conversation how far we are from having a full understanding and acceptance of our sexuality. We are deeply embedded in shame and denial of our sexuality as being a central part of who we are as humans. We've some how dichotomized our actual identities as being separate from our sexuality. We don't talk about how these elements of the human condition are not mutual exclusive entities but how they are deeply integrated into who are as humans and as Christians who believe that we are created in the very image of God.

In the last class I taught we covered the topic of sexuality and as I prepped for the class the question that came to mind was, "Why do we only think of sexuality as an activity and not as an integrated aspect of our selves"? I realized I couldn't even address the subject without posing this question to the class... We can talk about ourselves as spiritual persons, emotional persons, biological persons but our sexuality always gets discussed in terms of 'how tos' and 'whens', as opposed to the centrality of it in our personhood. In my research for answers I found Tina Schermer Seller's blog. She is a professor at SPU and has done extensive research on the subject. I recommend taking a look at her blog. Here is a quote from her, "Sexuality is something we are – not something we do – more than a set of behaviors. It is the vital creative force of our life – our very soul and mind manifest its loves and passions through our body. We create and appreciate creation through our body. We hold and love through our body. In fact when our body exhales its last breath we cease being able to live out our mind, heart and soul here on earth. The desire to love with our bodies, to understand and appreciate the awakening sexual desires across our lifecycle, is core to our human experience."

Here are some questions on the topic that I'd like to further explore... Something to consider in this question of identity is why do heterosexuals divide the self from sexuality? What do we have to learn from the gay and lesbian community in terms of understanding our sexuality as part of who we are as people and how we identify ourselves? How do we get to our concepts of sex? Why is it important and healthy to come back to an integration of our sexuality as part of our core identities? What's the danger in the separation? How do we perpetuate this dichotomy, especially as heterosexuals?