Why the Homeless??? The question that continues to plague us...

This past Monday we held the Why the Homeless forum @ Quest. It was a great turn out, a great dialogue and a good start to what I hope to be a challenge for us as a church to care for the homeless.

The evening started off with a question, "Can we live into a more compassionate humanity"? After years and years of seeing the homeless be undervalued, stigmatized and dismissed I really wonder when we will begin seeing people with value and purpose simply because we believe they matter in the here & now. I wonder if we can reflect to the homeless a sense of dignity and the truth that they too are created in God's image with value and integrity. As I grow older, sometimes I lose a sense of that hope. I easily can fall prey to all sorts of cynicism, because it just seems like such a mountain to climb.

On Tuesday, I came into work when a woman I've worked with for years asked to see me. Upon approaching her I saw that she had a leg brace on both legs and a walker. I immediately asked what had happened when she shared that on February 24th sometime in the early morning she had been standing on a sidewalk when she became victim to a hit & run. She was just released from the hospital on March 16th and to make matters worse, the authorities who took the report, as well as the paramedics did not pass along her belongings to the hospital so now she has no identification-- all important paperwork that she owns is gone.

I don't know what that conjures up in you when you read that, but for me I connect with anger. How is it that someone could leave an accident not knowing whether or not the person that they hit was alive or dead? How is it that there wasn't more care taken in making sure that everything this person owned gets to her once she arrives at the hospital? How is that she is released, not fully recovered, to stay in shelter for the night but made to wander the streets by day in her condition? One injustice after the next...

I am working with her to try to get her ID back, but so far there hasn't been a lot of help from the police or fire departments. There isn't much urgency for a homeless woman. And this is what I mean by, "When will we live into a more compassionate humanity"? This reality-- where a person is valued and made a priority simply because they are human and share the same thread of the human experience that we all do. Imagine the healing, image the hurdles we could cross if we just cared-- if we left our anesthetized state, to really see another human being and care. I truly wonder these things. I truly wonder if looking at ourselves in this way could have made a difference for this woman.

This week has been one of wrestling.

Saturday was Craig's burial and Celebration of Life service. I can't begin to describe how amazed and blessed I felt to hear stories of Craig-- his tenacity for his family & friends, his commitment to investing in people and the love of God that was shown to others through Craig's life. I'll be honest I didn't know Craig very well, but I am honored to say that I did witness these attributes over the last year and a half as he battled cancer.

At his service, they shared a video which documented his life and his love over the course of his 36 years. I don't believe there was a dry eye in the room during the video presentation. The video was well done, but besides that I truly felt the love that Craig had for Betty and his kids. I could literally feel it. AND I could feel the love that Betty and the kids have for Craig. And this is where I feel broke, speechless and unable to come to terms with the end result to Craig's story.

I came home Saturday after the service. I hugged my kids. I played with my Izzy. I had a deeper appreciation for what I have, but I couldn't get over the nagging question of, "why"? Why after all these months of ferverently praying, of crying out, of interceding as a community for physical healing for Craig-- why had the answer come to this? Why was the answer, "no"? I wrestled back and forth with this question of why. This answer which was so senseless, so unfair. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well that night. I found myself getting up in the night weeping and flooded with emotions of all kinds.

On Sunday as I woke up and began preparing my heart for church. I pondered again the question I had been wrestling with and I came to a conclusion and the conclusion was this-- I did not like the answer God gave. Yet, although I could be honest and transparent before God regarding my dislike, my disdain, my frustration, my anger-- I realized that although I didn't like it-- I could trust God. I was honest enough with myself that I did not understand the big picture and that for some reason God had a reason for the answer He gave.

I'll be honest, I still do not like the answer. I am still in grief. But I will trust God. I will believe that for some reason (which I cannot fool myself to know anything about) this is part of some plan, some purpose. For now, it does not take a way the sting of his death, nor the frustration of this confusion. It hurts like hell. Yet, in this grief I feel an odd sustainment of God's presence, peace and the invitation to step through a doorway to trust. I pray I can be faithful to this call.